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Who Could’ve Seen That Coming? Chuck Schumer’s Snitch Portal Inspires HILARIOUS Fake Whistleblowers – Twitchy

February 11, 2025
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Nobody likes a tattletale. Anyone who has ever watched The Brady Bunch can tell you that. 

But leftists must not like that show because they just never learn. 





When Scotland enacted its Hate Crime and Public Order Act in 2024 (on April Fool’s Day, no less), part of the law included an online reporting system where people could tattle on their neighbors and tell the police about any ‘hate speech’ they may have encountered that hurt their feelings. Almost immediately, the hotline was flooded and overwhelmed with complaints … about then-Scotland First Minister Humza Yousaf, who was a huge proponent of the law, but who also had said some truly hateful things about white people in many of his public speeches.

LOL. Oops. 

But leave it to American Democrats to try to repeat the disaster in Scotland and expect a different result. Yesterday, as Twitchy reported, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer decided that he wanted to open his own snitch line, allowing people to report alleged transgressions from the Trump administration and DOGE in particular.

Here is the tweet where he published the link to his ‘whistleblower’ portal:

Of course, Schumer’s portal is completely superfluous and unnecessary because federal workers already have multiple options to make whistleblower reports and legal protections to go along with those options. 

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Imagine that. A government organization doing something wasteful and redundant. We’re pretty sure that’s why DOGE was created in the first place.  

We’re not sure how Schumer thought this was going to go for him, but we knew exactly how it was going to go. 

Almost immediately, prominent conservatives — including our managing editor @PolitiBunny — posted on Twitter that people ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT use this portal to mock Schumer. 

Nope. Definitely do NOT do that, Twitter. 

HAHAHAHA. 

What happened next was entirely predictable and pure Twitchy gold.

Wow. It seems like little Tony Fauci has been a very bad boy indeed. We sure hope Schumer forwards this whistleblower report to Senator Rand Paul and Attorney General Pam Bondi. 





While he’s at it, maybe Schumer can refer himself and every other Democrat leader in Congress to Bondi. Not to mention all of the leftists who have been calling for violence in the streets in recent days. 

Threatening SCOTUS justices is a serious crime. Schumer had better turn himself in right away.

Uh-oh. Sounds like Nancy Pelosi might be in a heap of trouble too. 

All three suspects should be considered old, drunk, or senile … and very dangerous. 





These are all very serious complaints. We hope Schumer and Senate Judiciary Democrats look into every one of them. 

But if we know Twitter (and we do), there were also many submitted complaints that were just plain hilarious. 

We knew that one was coming. ‘Big Balls’ is only 19 years old and he is already a legend. 

Hey wasn’t that guy caught in a Senate conference room last year engaging in some …err … inappropriate activity? 

LOL. Tagging Schumer and the Department of Education in that screenshot was a ‘chef’s kiss’ touch.

HA. It wouldn’t be Twitter if there wasn’t a reference to The Simpsons. 

‘Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?’

One of the most popular ‘whistleblower’ complaints had to do with Schumer’s prowess — or, ahem, lack thereof — in cooking burgers on a grill. 





HA. It’s true, though. Eating raw hamburger meat is a serious public health issue. 

Someone needs to call RFK, Jr.

Thank God Shcumer set this portal up. Some crimes have gone unpunished for far too long. 

Hey, no one is above the law, right, Senator?

Of course, slapping cheese slices on raw hamburgers on an unlit grill isn’t Schumer’s only crime against humanity. There was also this: 

OOF. The number of people who literally died of cringe after watching Schumer’s pathetic attempt to start a chant is still being counted. 

We fear the casualty count is only going to increase exponentially the longer that video stays up.

In the end, however, the American people voted for exactly what Trump and Musk are doing with DOGE and they let Schumer know that in no uncertain terms. 





Hey, don’t hold back. Tell him how you really feel. (We apologize for the NSFW language there, but it had to be said.)

Yep. What he said. 

Democrats can shriek and scream all they want. The American people support what Trump and Musk are doing and, despite what an Obama activist judge might be saying right now, NONE of it is remotely illegal.

But congratulations on your shiny new snitch portal, Chuck Schumer. 

We can only hope it keeps working out as wonderfully for you as it has been over its first 24 hours.




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