Too much of a good thing is, apparently, a bad thing.
Forget “fear of missing out.” The latest anxiety-inducing trend is “FOBO” — or “fear of a better option.”
In other words, people are constantly ruminating on the “what if.”
Patrick McGinnis, an author and venture capitalist who coined the term FOBO, described the phenomenon as “the anxiety that something better will come along, which makes it undesirable to commit to existing choices when making a decision.”
It’s so serious that he has even labeled it the “evil brother” of FOMO.
“This specifically refers to decisions where there are perfectly acceptable options in front of us, yet we struggle to choose just one,” he told HuffPost, calling it “an affliction of abundance.”
Tomas Svitorka, a life coach and entrepreneur, told the outlet it was a “nagging feeling” that causes the person to hesitate or freeze when decision-making because they fear that there is a “better” or “perfect” choice that “might be out there and come along at any second.
“Whether it’s picking something from the menu at a restaurant, choosing a vacation spot or, in more serious cases, deciding on a life partner, FOBO thrives on the question: ‘What if there’s something even better out there?’” he said.
While too many choices may seem like a good problem to have, McGinnis warned that decision fatigue can actually be very “serious.”
People who experience FOBO might ice out their loved ones, colleagues or even potential love interests because those people grow tired of waiting for the FOBO-inflicted person to make a decision.
“When you treat your life like a Tinder feed, swiping with reckless abandon without ever committing to any of the potential options, you send a clear and unambiguous message to everyone else: You are the ultimate holdout,” McGinnis explained.
“You won’t set a clear course or commit to a plan of action. Instead, you will let the possibilities pile up and only make a decision when it suits you, likely at the last minute, if at all.”
He warned that the result is living “in a world of maybes, stringing yourself and others along.”
“Rather than assessing your options, choosing one, and moving on with your day, you delay the inevitable,” he continued. “It’s not unlike hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock only to pull the covers over your head and fall back asleep … over and over and over.”
Experts told HuffPost that FOBO can actually contribute to developing depression or anxiety.
“This mindset fosters dissatisfaction and can erode self-trust, leading to procrastination and indecisiveness. In relationships, this fear can hinder personal growth and connection,” psychologist Patricia Dixon told the publication.
To counteract the phenomenon, she advised reframing choices by accepting that “your decisions may be best for the moment, even if alternatives arise later.”
Experts even recommended flipping a coin to make a decision or setting arbitrary rules for yourself to make decision-making easier.
“To break this cycle, it’s crucial to cultivate self-trust and listen to your instincts,” Dixon said.
“Often, the allure of ‘the grass being greener’ is a facade that distracts us from appreciating the value of our current choices.”
