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Trump Must Act To Save Hooters From Bankruptcy

Valuable assets at risk after four years of Democratic attacks on male camaraderie and female attractiveness

Hooters/Facebook

The first existential crisis of Donald Trump’s second term is upon us. Hooters, the iconic casual dining chain best known for its decades-long commitment to male camaraderie and female empowerment, is reportedly on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. The storied franchise has been struggling to overcome financial difficulties such as mounting debt and declining foot traffic at its nearly 300 locations across the United States, and recently engaged a law firm to explore a potential Chapter 11 filing, though no final decision has been made. The future of American prosperity is at stake.

Hooters/Instagram

The shocking development threatens to derail Trump’s promise to preside over an American “golden age.” His predecessor, Joe Biden, is clearly to blame for Hooters’ financial trouble. The chain was forced to close dozens of underperforming locations on Biden’s watch, and the decline in foot traffic coincided with the Democratic Party’s malicious efforts to shame men for liking boobs and denounce attractive women for embracing “body positivity.” Nevertheless, it is Trump who must act now to preserve the vital American institution for future generations.

Hooters/Facebook

If for some reason Trump does not feel compelled to use his large personal fortune to bail out Hooters, he should immediately instruct the Department of Government Efficiency to establish a Troubled Asset Relief Plan using the billions of dollars it has saved by slashing the federal bureaucracy. Stimulus checks for all Americans will have to wait, as the continued survival of Hooters is an urgent matter of national security. These considerable assets are simply too big to fail.

Hooters/Instagram

Give them whatever they need.

Hooters/Instagram

Give them whatever they need.

Hooters/Instagram

It’s not a handout; it’s a handful (of joy). 

Hooters/Facebook

Never forget what Biden tried to take from you.

Hooters/Instagram

Don’t let John Daly down.

Hooters/Instagram

Do the right thing, Mr. President. 

Hooters/Facebook

The troops are counting on you. 

Hooters/Facebook

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