Say goodbye to “triggers” that leave you feeling angry, sad or anxious — “glimmers” can swing you in the other direction.
Deb Dana, an author and licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma, coined the term “glimmers” in her 2018 book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy” to describe how small experiences can help shift our nervous system’s response from defense to calm.
Speaking to The Post, she broke down how to recognize them — and what to do when you’ve found one.
What is a glimmer?
“Glimmers are these tiny moments of OK-ness, joy, excitement, ease, calm, any of those flavors that give you the feeling that you are safe enough in the world to feel present and OK,” Dana said.
How do you know if you’ve bumped up against a glimmer?
“You may feel something happen in your body, a warmth or an openness or breath change, or your eyes might focus on something. It may bring a slight smile. So there’s there’s an embodied response,” Dana said.
The brain follows suit with its own response, recognizing that something is beautiful or fun or that it likes it: “It’s a body-brain experience, and they work together.”
What do you do when you notice a glimmer?
For beginners, Dana says that reflecting at the end of the day can help you recognize cues that moments were or could have been glimmers.
“Once you know the cues, when you feel something come alive, stop in that moment and then appreciate it. Appreciation is a ten to twenty-second experience,” Dana explained.
This brevity makes glimmers approachable for those working through complex trauma and anyone who wants to lead a happier, more emotionally regulated life
“People want to feel like they’re doing something, and yet they don’t have a lot of energy to be doing,” Dana noted.
Though they’re short, glimmers can have a mighty, cumulative effect, expanding our biological capacity to avoid fight or flight, disassociation, or shutdown.
“When we can stay regulated, we can talk with people, to connect with people, to problem solve, to be with whatever is causing despair or disruption in the world, and find a way to work with it rather than simply be pulled into it,” Dana said.
Glimmer: the anti-trigger
“We deal all the time with triggers, the things that disregulate people,” Dana said. “We tend to forget that we also need to actively experience moments of OK-ness in order to fully live a life of well-being.”
In effect, glimmers function not as a distraction from suffering but as a building block of resilience.
“When we find glimmers, when we can notice them and soak them in, it builds our capacity for staying in that biological state of regulation.”
#Glimmers has also resonated with the world, with over 27 million posts on TikTok dedicated to the hashtag.
Teach your brain to feel better
Dana chose the word glimmer as it suggests something attention-getting that is not overwhelming.
“The interesting thing about glimmers is they’re all around us; there is a glimmer happening somewhere all the time, and yet we don’t know to look for them, and so we don’t notice them, and they pass us by,” she said.
“When we begin to understand that it’s just the tiny moment that brings a smile or stops you for a moment, you look and feel something different.”
In the beginning, glimmers are a few seconds of feeling something different. As you find them more and more, you build the practice; you see, stop, and appreciate.
Deb Dana
Looking for glimmers conditions the mind and body to experience similar moments.
“Once you find a glimmer and you feel it come alive in your body, your brain makes a story about it. It marks it, it names it. Once that happens, you are organically primed to look for more. So it becomes an easy practice.”
She noted that there’s a fair amount of toxic positivity in the clinical world that urges people to count their blessings and eschew the negative. Yet Dana views glimmers as a way to confront difficulties rather than deny them.
“Glimmers are a way to resource your capacity to look toward what is difficult and distressing. It’s about building the capacity to work with what disregulates us.”
See, stop, appreciate, remember, share
For people whose everyday experiences include cues of danger, distress, or chaos, the feeling of being regulated and safe can register as unfamiliar, sending a danger cue to the nervous system.
“In the beginning, glimmers are a few seconds of feeling something different. As you find them more and more, you build the practice; you see, stop, and appreciate,” Dana said.
“As we do this, those moments of safety and connection become familiar, so they’re not scary. And your system begins to shape toward that sense of safety and connection and reduces the protection pathways. As we build the capacity for safety and connection, we can travel that pathway more easily and often.”
Dana maintains that as we build a glimmer practice, we begin to identify glimmer environments where we are likely to experience them. She has designed the “Glimmer Journal” to help people keep track of and savor their glimmers.
She notes that sharing is a crucial component of the power of glimmers.
“The nervous system loves to be in connection with other nervous systems. We humans are social beings. We want to be with others. And so after we see, stop, appreciate, and remember, the next step is share.”
Glimmers: Sharing is caring
In her work with complex trauma survivors, Dana would have clients share their glimmers in myriad ways, including recordings, drawings, photographs, and lists.
She notes that glimmer buddies and groups are lovely ways to encourage the seeking and sharing of glimmers. “There are all sorts of ways to let the nervous system really feel connected and part of a glimmer community.”
According to Dana, when you share a glimmer, you bring it alive again in your own system and provide an opportunity for another person to experience that feeling.
And while the goal with trauma is to remember rather than relive the experience, when it comes to glimmers, we should aim for an immersive recollection.
“That state of feeling that there is regulation and connection, we want to bring it as fully alive as our system can tolerate. Because the more we do that, the more it gently and yet powerfully shifts our system towards a new pattern.”
For Dana, every moment is an opportunity to shape the nervous system and remain open to the positive potential of glimmers.
“As we continue to have, share, and remember glimmers, we know they’re shaping our systems toward more regulation, safety, and connection. As I am a more regulated human, I am then passing that out into the world. I’m walking through the world, giving other people cues of safety and welcome. I imagine that every time we begin to reshape our system and then pass that on to others, we’re beginning to shape the world in small but powerful ways.”
