Here she goes again. This week, Meghan Markle introduced the newest name of her lifestyle brand — As Ever.
It might be the perfect title for a duchess who keeps trying to push the same claim in our faces, over and over again: I’m authentic!
Scrap the American Riviera Orchard moniker that she teased last year. The vision that she introduced to the world with a heavily produced, gauzy video of her in a rustic kitchen (not her own, but never mind that), arranging flowers and strolling around in a ballgown.
Nope, this new Instagram video — Meghan in a garden, wearing a simple white shirt and messy hair — is the real her, in all her earthy Cali splendor.
Trust her!
“Last year, I had thought that American Riviera sounds like such a great name. It’s my neighborhood. It’s a nickname for Santa Barbara, but it limited me to things that were just manufactured and grown in this area,” Markle said in the Instagram video Monday about the name change.
“Limited” her. There’s no mention, of course, of the trademarking woes that forced her to change course.
And no proof that the self-styled duchess of domesticity actually has a unique knack for cooking, entertaining and decorating. We only have her stuffing this image down our throats.
It’s like she’s been ringing the dinner bell for a year now, and bringing absolutely nothing to the table.
Frankly, it’s insulting to the real lifestyle gurus who chopped, baked, crafted and grouted their way to massive success. People like Ina Garten, Martha Stewart and Joanna Gaines honed their skills — running a celebrated food shop, a catering firm and a home-flipping business, respectively — before they ever became brands.
They built devoted followings through hard work, unique aesthetics and the sheer force of their personalities. In each case, the brand came after the proof of concept.
Even Gwyneth Paltrow went from Hollywood A-lister to Goopy goddess because she was genuinely a disciple of the woo-woo way of life she ended up hawing to suckers, I mean people.
Meanwhile, Markle the narcissist keeps insisting she’s gonna be the next big thing. Not showing us. She thinks she’s so interesting, we’ll all be lining up to buy what she’s selling.
If she ever gets around to having anything to sell (beyond royal family secrets, of course — she and her husband are very good at that!)
As yet, there have been no jam samples at the Montecito farmer’s market, no photos of production or sourcing. No recent impromptu videos of her fixing dinner or decorating for the holidays, no magical moments in her home.
Only pictures of unopened jam jars — Meghan’s special treacly treat — posted by a handful of her well-heeled pals.
Before the duchess nabbed that royal title — the one she made sure to hang on to even though she ditched the family that came with it — Markle was a TV actress with a blog on which she raved about basic-bitch staples and nominated Serena Williams for the ice-bucket challenge. That makes her an expert on what, exactly?
But Markle isn’t just in need of rebrand for her jam and dog biscuits. She needs a personal one, too.
Last month, she was called a “disaster tourist” for walking through the ashes of a burned-out LA neighborhood. It was on the heels of scathing Vanity Fair exposé in which old employees said she was so controlling and bullying it sent them into the embrace of a therapist.
This swift U-turn shows that maybe she’s listening, or merely panicking. In the last week, she’s made efforts to come off as spontaneous and organic — posting a Valentine’s day video of her cutting strawberries into hearts and making breakfast along with her son, Archie.
Whether this latest tossing of spaghetti at the wall yields any success remains to be seen. Her new Netflix show, “With Love, Meghan,” debuts November 4.
