If you’re looking to spice up your love life this Valentine’s Day, Goop has a suggestion — but it’ll set you back $195.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle and wellness company featured “The Prim” on its Valentine’s gift guide this year, claiming the Tabu Sex Pillow will make your intimate moments more comfortable and satisfying.
But do you really need to shell out big bucks for better sex? The Post spoke to three experts to get the rundown on sex pillows and whether Goop’s recommendation is really worth the splurge.
What is a sex pillow?
A sex pillow is a firm, often angled cushion designed to make those intimate moments a little more enjoyable.
“Regular pillows are not designed to maintain their shape or support during sex,” said Dr. Heather Jeffcoat, owner of Femina Physical Therapy in Los Angeles and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life. “While you can definitely makeshift something, like stacking three or four pillows to make a modified ramp, it may or may not offer the support you need.”
Unlike your average pillow, most sex pillows are made from high-density foam that can hold its shape under your body weight. They come in many different shapes and sizes, but the most popular types are wedges and ramps.
“The wedge pillow is great for raising hips and thighs to mitigate discomfort,” said Dr. Debra Laino, a board-certified clinical sexologist and relationship therapist. “Ramp-shaped pillows still have a wedge lift, but are often larger to help support the back.”
Laino noted that some sex pillows even have a built-in space to hold a sex toy for hands-free or solo pleasure. These are often called a sex mount.
What are the benefits of using a sex pillow?
Experts agree: A sex pillow can make all the difference, especially if you’re among the one in three women who report experiencing pain during intercourse.
“These pillows help make positions easier or more comfortable, and can help with deeper penetration by allowing for more relaxation of low back, hip and pelvic floor muscles,” said Jeffcoat.
They also work wonders for those dealing with mobility challenges, injuries or age-related body changes. They can even help pregnant women find positions that are both safe and satisfying.
“Good sex is all about angles,” said Dr. Megan Fleming, a New York City-based psychologist and sex therapist. “For some people, a sex pillow can bring back positions that had gotten uncomfortable by providing the support and angles they need.”
Jeffcoat said that sex pillows often come with suggested positions, but she recommended consulting with a pelvic health physical therapist about the most effective way to use them if you have specific needs.
“For example, if you need to keep your lower back flexed or tucked during intercourse or intimacy to alleviate lower back discomfort, you could use a large wedge, with your pelvis up on the thicker portion of it, allowing your knees to be bent and feet on the bed or ground or pulled toward your chest,” Jeffcoat said.
Meanwhile, “a ramp will be better at limiting hip flexion, which is important if you have hip impingement, a hip labral tear, hip arthritis or recent hip surgery,” she added.
Is “The Prim” really worth the $195 price tag?
“While ‘The Prim‘ is a nice pillow, others work just as well for less,” said Laino. But, “if you want to splurge, ‘The Prim’ is a good option. It is firm, wedge-shaped and has a removable cover, as most do, so you can wash it.”
Fleming said The Prim’s discreet design is another selling point. “If you’re a New Yorker and crammed for space, you might like the idea that you can just have it on your bed all the time,” she said.
The pillow’s design also adds convenience. “You come home and it can feel more spontaneous, versus planning your erotic adventure and pulling out anything you might want to include,” Fleming added.
If you aren’t totally sold on a sex pillow yet, Fleming recommends starting with a more budget-friendly option, like this inflatable wedge from Love Honey priced at $49.99.
“Try it out at a lower price point, and then if you feel like ‘oh my god, I really love this,’ then it makes sense if you’d want to invest in a higher-quality version,” she said.
How do I care for my sex pillow?
Let’s face it: Sex can get messy. Fortunately, most sex pillows are machine washable or come with a removable cover for easy cleaning.
Experts recommend washing your pillow after each use, especially if you’re sharing it with multiple partners, to avoid bacteria buildup and the spread of infections.
Fleming also suggests that people who engage in activities like water sports or use products like massage oil take extra precautions to extend the life of their pillow and keep their bedding clean.
“Some people can get in their heads about the sheets and pillows, so throwing down a waterproof sex blanket is a good way to go so that you can just relax into the experience,” she said. “That’s important, because ultimately, relaxation is the foundation of arousal.”
When your pillow’s not in use, Laino recommends storing it in a clean, dry spot off the floor and away from anything that could harbor bacteria, like a damp bathroom. “It’s also a good idea to keep the pillow away from children and animals, as it is not a toy nor a regular pillow to lay on,” she said.
As for storing wedge and ramp pillows, Jeffcoat suggests laying them on their longest or thickest side. “Never store a wedge pillow with the pressure on the thin part of the wedge, as this will distort the shape of the wedge over time,” she said.
Does sex have any health benefits?
Research suggests that the average American has sex about once a week — and it turns out, they’re reaping more benefits than just pleasure.
“A healthy sex life is tremendously important for well-being,” Laino said. “There are many hormones released during sex that are important for the body and the brain such as dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins — all feel good chemicals.”
Physical intimacy has also been shown to reduce stress, improve cardiovascular health, boost the immune system and even combat cognitive decline, according to Jeffcoat.
When it comes to romantic relationships, physical intimacy can also play a crucial role in bonding.
“When your sex life is going well, it’s a small part of the relationship. When it’s not, it can cause distress and sort of overshadow the relationship as a whole,” said Fleming.
“That’s not to shame those who aren’t very sexual or in a sexless marriage. For some, it’s a lifestyle choice, but for others, sex is an important part of staying connected and experiencing pleasure with your partner.”
