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Another Democrat goes to prison

January 31, 2025

It’s Friday, January 31, 2025.

Democrats have never been more “aroused,” according to Chuck Schumer. We’ve certainly noticed a difference. At the moment, Democrats are passionately trying to figure out how Donald Trump used creeping fascism to crash a plane into the Potomac and whining theatrically about his failure to restore food prices to their pre-Biden levels since his swearing-in last week. They’re still upset about Trump’s popular plan to deport foreign criminals and other illegal immigrants. “I can’t wait until American women can’t get blueberries for their smoothies,” Democratic strategist Jenna Arnold actually said on CNN. In case you were wondering, yes, her voice sounds like an extreme parody of a liberal white Instagram mom letting loose after splitting a bottle of rosé with her bestie.

Arnold is also the author of the book Raising Our Hands: How White Women Can Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations, Start Accepting Responsibility, and Find Our Place on the New Frontlines (2020), which was courageous enough to land a spot on the Forbes list of “Anti-Racism Resources for White People.” She helped organize the pussy-hatted Women’s March in 2017 and was part of the successful campaign to persuade Joe Biden to declare the unratified Equal Rights Amendment to be part of the Constitution, which was both pointless and illegal. Arnold has two kids named Ever Alula and Atlas Oz. (We promise we’re not making this up.) She is active on Instagram, obviously, and posts content that is cringingly stereotypical of her race, gender, and ideology.

Crucial context: “White Woman’s Instagram” by Bo Burnham

“Are you supportive of these onesies?” is a question that was actually asked (more like shouted) during RFK Jr.’s confirmation hearing when Democrats were pretending to be appalled by a Kennedy. Meanwhile, their former colleague, “Bullion Bob” Menendez, was sentenced to 11 years in federal prison for cartoonish corruption involving Egyptian meat tycoons and a secret stash of gold bars. Bakari Sellers, another Democratic strategist on CNN, was forced to apologize after he rushed to blame Trump for the deadly midair collision between a passenger jet and a military helicopter near Reagan National Airport. Sellers is the author of the courageous book The Moment: Thoughts on the Race Reckoning That Wasn’t and How We All Can Move Forward Now (2024) and is best known for being cited in the lawsuit CNN settled for millions of dollars after defaming a teenaged Trump supporter.

TREND ALERT: Democratic Donors Spending the Rest of Their Lives in Prison for Unspeakable Crimes

In what might be described as a related development, a recently published Quinnipiac survey found that Democrats are horrendously unpopular. Just 31 percent of registered voters said they had a favorable opinion of the Democratic Party, while a whopping 57 percent said they had an unfavorable opinion. Republicans fared much better, at 43 percent favorable and 45 percent unfavorable. That’s the largest GOP favorability advantage over Democrats since Quinnipiac started measuring in 2008. Among male voters as well as independent voters, just 22 percent had a favorable opinion of the party that insisted Joe Biden was fit to serve another four years as president. That might sound bad for Democrats, but it’s nothing that can’t be solved by unleashing their battalions of hysterical white women to complain about smoothies. Meanwhile, on the Democratic Party’s favorite network, MSNBC, Joy Reid is still ranting about the “undeniable” similarities between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler.

Job opening of the week: Doug Emhoff returned to corporate law this week as a partner of Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP, the white-shoe firm best known for its former chairman’s involvement in the “Varsity Blues” college admissions scandal. The disgraced attorney, Gordon Caplan, pleaded guilty in 2019 to paying $75,000 to fraudulently boost his daughter’s ACT score.

Emhoff destroyed his first marriage by getting the nanny pregnant and was accused of assaulting an ex-girlfriend. Nevertheless, because he was married to Kamala Harris, the media revered Emhoff as a modern “sex symbol” who “redefine[d] masculinity” by not beating or cheating on his second wife. During a previous stint at a corporate law firm, Emhoff was accused of hiring a “trophy secretary” named Katya who was “widely considered unqualified” apart from her physical beauty and willingness to flirt with horny older men. He’s already on the hunt for another secretary. Apply now!

Oblivious liberal journalist of the week: Susan Glasser, staff writer at the New Yorker and wife of New York Times correspondent Peter Baker, was outraged that the Trump administration was taking down portraits of former officials the president doesn’t like. “The pulling down of portraits and forced erasing the past is a reminder—check your 20th century history about what kind of regimes do this stuff…” wrote Glasser, who might want to check out the history of liberal activism in the 21st century. Maybe she was being ironic?

Talented conservative journalist of the week: Natalie Winters, White House correspondent for Steve Bannon’s War Room.

God bless the New York Post: While most people were getting riled up about a New York magazine cover photo of Trump supporters partying in D.C. during the inauguration last week that deliberately cropped out all the black people to make a point about white supremacy, the intrepid journalists at the Post were busy answering the question on everyone’s mind: “Who’s that hot girl?” (A sorority babe from SMU.)

Rest in peace: Jim Acosta’s career is dead. The notoriously obnoxious journalist resigned from CNN this week after refusing to accept a demotion to the graveyard shift from midnight to 2 a.m. Following in the footsteps of another obnoxious journalist, former Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin, he launched a new website on Substack.

EXCLUSIVE: Read Jim Acosta’s Resignation Letter to CNN

We suffered through the first installment of the Jim Acosta Show and were shocked by how terrible it was. Plagued by charmless banter and technical difficulties, the episode featured a discussion with Norm Eisen, the #Resistance warrior who cofounded the Contrarian with Rubin. Acosta insisted, rather unconvincingly, that he was thrilled to be done with the “perfectly lighted studios” at CNN. “We can bro out, I guess, or something like that,” he said with characteristic magnetism. It’s amazing he was ever allowed on television. Acosta sounds like, in the words of a former Pete Buttigieg adviser critiquing her candidate’s speaking style, “the fucking Tin Man … reading a fucking shopping list.”