As a mom of three with a fourth on the way, Kylie Kelce has been to quite a few kids’ birthday parties — and there’s one trend that she’s “vehemently against.”
There’s a new trend where parents hosting children’s birthday parties not only expect presents for their birthday boy or girl — they also require party guests to bring gifts for the child’s siblings.
“I will say I am vehemently against the idea of other kids getting birthday presents on a child’s birthday,” Kelce, 32, shared in an episode of her popular podcast “Not Gonna Lie.”
The trend gained attention on TikTok earlier this month when a mom shared that her 6-year-old kid came home from school with an invitation for another kid’s birthday, and the invitation asked parents to bring a gift for the little brother as well so he’s not “left out.”
The mom shared that she was “floored,” adding that it’s the host mother’s responsibility — not hers — to have a present for her 3-year-old if she feels one is needed.
Kelce — who is expecting her fourth child with husband Jason Kelce, the former star player for the Philadelphia Eagles — chimed in on the craze with her honest opinion on the podcast.
The mom of three daughters shared that they are getting ready to celebrate multiple birthdays very close together. The Kelces’ youngest, Bennett, turned 2 on Feb. 23, and middle child Elliotte turns 4 on March 4. Their oldest daughter, Wyatt, will celebrate her sixth birthday in October.
“Our family knows no one else is receiving a birthday present for Bennett’s birthday,” she said. “Everyone gets a special day. When your siblings get presents for your birthday, it reduces your birthday. It’s not their birthday — it’s your birthday.
“Also, I think it teaches them to a degree that just because someone’s getting presents doesn’t mean you get presents,” Kelce added. “It feels very participation trophy-esque.”
Experts agreed with Kelce that parents need to teach their children how to navigate their emotions when a sibling is getting a gift and they aren’t.
Claire Vallotton, professor of human development and family studies at Michigan State University, explained to USA Today that parents might think they’re helping the other child to avoid feeling left out, jealous or sad — but it’s normal to experience those feelings, and they’re emotions that children will experience throughout life.
“Our early childhood is when we get to build that coping set and build that resilience around uncomfortable emotions,” Vallotton said. “Parents are missing an opportunity to help the sibling manage and learn about uncomfortable emotions.
“A child that doesn’t have those opportunities or given the message that it’s not OK to have those emotions is going to feel like there’s something wrong with them,” she said, adding that they can “potentially fall apart when they are then faced with inevitable uncomfortable emotions later in life.”
