This information could really come in handy.
Randy astronauts may find themselves in need of a little sexual relief while touring the galaxy.
But when a rocket man can no longer keep those inner passions pinned up, the release of his bodily fluids in zero-gravity makes some out-of-this-world motion, so say a set of scientists.
“Let’s talk about spunk,” said sexpert Esme Louise James, per a trending TikTok. “In space,” added astrophysicist Matthew Agnew in the collaboration clip dedicated to space cadets and ejaculation.
Talking about getting freaky in the final frontier is a dirty job — but someone’s got to do it.
Interest in space sex has piqued in recent months, owing to Sunita “Suni” Williams and Barry “Butch” Wilmore, astronauts of the International Space Station (ISS).
Due to technical issues on the aircraft — a Boeing Starliner spacecraft, which launched for what was meant to be an eight day trip in June 2024 — the twosome is now stranded in the great beyond, indefinitely.
Since the mishap, social media savages have speculated that the astronauts have engaged in naughty behavior to pass the time.
And while solar system insiders claim that interstellar intercourse is “not impossible,” the pros say it would be difficult to enjoy “the do” due to a lack of stability in the high skies.
But, should a male moonwalker find a some time for a little self-pleasure, James and Agnew say the outcomes of an outer space orgasm are otherworldly.
“What would happen if a man’s rocket blasted off in space?,=” pondered James in the NSFW NASA-inspired vid. The eye-popping post amassed over 24,000 views.
“When a man ejaculates in the vacuum of space, how fast backwards is her propelled?” asked Agnew before he and James revealed the goopy answer via the “conservation of momentum.”
It’s a fundamental concept of physics, according to NASA. (Note: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration’s code of ethics does not explicitly address sex or masturbation in outer space).
The concept states that the total momentum of two or more bodies in a system will remain the same, said Agnew.
“This means that the mass multiplied by the velocity of the ejaculated will equal the mass multiples by the velocity of them man,” continued the astro-know-it-all.
And to prove that he wasn’t just jerking viewers around, Agnew and James did the man-juice math.
The academic duo calculated the average volume of “space spunk,” approximately one teaspoon, as well as its density, one gram, and the average speed of ejaculation, which they found to be 45 kilometers per hour.
After multiplying the density by volume to find the mass, Agnew and James multiplied the mass by the velocity.
“And that gives us the momentum of the ejaculate,” Agnew announced with pride.
“So let’s say the average man weighs [155 pounds],” he said. “This means the velocity must equal 0.000562 [meters-per-second].”
Thankfully, James put their funky-spunky finding in layman’s terms.
“This means our astronaut who has blasted off in the vacuum of space is now traveling backwards at two meters-per-hour,” she said.
“It’s about the speed of an average garden snail,” said Agnew — which travels at around one meter-per-hour.
“So if you ever find yourself in the vacuum of space and you want to use ejaculate as propellant,” he warned, “you’re not going to be moving very quickly.”
