Ready for ‘Real’ H’wood?
So “A Real Pain” is a buddy comedy-drama written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg, who played Mark Zuckerberg in 2010’s “The Social Network” and was nominated for a Best Actor Oscar. Now comes this Poland/USA co-production that stars him and Kieran Culkin as mismatched cousins who hit Warsaw to honor their late grandma. It’s grabbing accolades, noms and Golden Globes.
He’s contributed to the New Yorker, wrote and starred in three plays, released his book, “Bream Gives Me Hiccups: And Other Stories” in 2015. Here’s how involved he is with projects. When filming for a whole month in NYC, I asked him for the name of the movie. Jesse’s answer? “I really don’t know. I forgot the title.”
Sunday night, up for four Globes in LA. Best comedy, best actor: Eisenberg, best supporting actor: Culkin, best screenplay: Eisenberg. Only one nabbed the trophy, and a shot of tequila with Mario Lopez, which is good prep for an acceptance speech. Lime on the side. Kieran also had an arm full of bracelets and temp tattoos from his kids, Kinsey and Wilder. He remembered to thank his wife in his speech and also his ex, Emma Stone, who produced the movie, who ran into her ex Andrew Garfield. They’re oh so friendly in Hollywood.
Next week, Oscar nominations coming. Look for these names again: Eisenberg, Culkin. Title is “A Real Pain,” if you forgot.
Hail to the chief
WITH the snow falling faster than dandruff, a dinner companion asked our governor: Is she keeping the 8 p.m. appointment. Her answer?
“I’m from Buffalo. Snow never stops us. If too cold for you I’ll bring takeout.”
Legends of the fallen and luxe
LIFESTYLES of the kitsch and famous.
It’s Val Kilmer visiting my home, then removed his clothes and took a shower in my john without asking.
During a huge black-tie party in my honor in Manila, I fell asleep on President Marcos’ shoulder.
Me, I once flushed a $100 bill in the john and stuck my house key in a mail chute.
Tina Turner bought 125 pairs of shoes in one store.
Patti LaBelle cooked her own liver and onions inside her NYC hotel room and the whole building smelled like an Italian restaurant.
Duchess of York gave Diana foot warts.
Michelle Pfeiffer says a guy with loafers: “Ruins a sexy man for me.”
Milton Berle on air with me gave wrong names of both grandkids and his wife phoned hysterical screaming, “No! Those are not our children!”
Woody Allen will not go to New Jersey through the Lincoln or Holland. Terrified of tunnels.
Rhea Perlman on husband Danny DeVito: “We’re still married. We just don’t want to live together.”
Juror: “A defendant should realize his entire life is in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get off jury duty.”
Could be in an only in New York desk diary. One per page.
NOT so attractive lady was stopped by a mugger who frisked her quickly and growled: “You have no money.” She said: “Just keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll write you a check.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
