Great news, everyone. It looks like Gen Z has a new hobby: freeing the world from nuclear weapons via TikTok.
(Excuse us for a moment as we pause to laugh in Generation X).
Look, there’s no harm in wishing and dreaming that nuclear weapons didn’t exist. As long as you recognize it for what it is: a pipe dream.
And you know how we know it’s a pipe dream? Because the knowledge and technology to create nuclear weapons has existed for more than 75 years.
If people CAN build it, people WILL build it … especially if it is a weapon.
You might as well be wishing that human nature didn’t exist. (Wait … let’s not give Gen Z any ideas.)
Today, The New York Times promoted a video by ‘nuclear armament consultant’ Emma Pike who talked about all of the ‘progress’ she is making in ridding the planet of nukes. And she’s not alone. She’s joined by ‘activists, doctors, artists, and academics.’
Yeah, we’re doomed. Watch:
First of all, what even is a ‘nuclear disarmament consultant’? How does that work?
We’re pretty sure she might be a consultant for the nation known as The Land of Puppy Kisses and Goody Gumdrops.
She should have called herself a nuclear disarmament personality. That’s how you get people’s attention in 2024.
— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) March 22, 2024
How are we not surprised? Of COURSE, nuclear disarmament and ‘black liberation’ go hand in hand.
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Before her current job, Pike was a training teacher in elementary school. So, you know, she’s ‘totes qualified’ for this position.
But it gets even better when we look at the content of her video here. Did you know that artists and academics everywhere all agree that nukes are bad? Did you know that only nine nations in the world have nuclear weapons because all the other countries ‘chose’ not to have them?
That’s exactly how it happened. Every other country just said, ‘No thanks’ … while TOTALLY not looking down the nose of an ICMB pointed right at them.
And hey, let’s not forget that there are TREATIES.
We still recall with great fondness how Germany honored the Molotov-Von Ribbentrop Pact of 1939. And that 1928 Kellogg-Briand Pact that ‘outlawed war,’ that’s still in effect, right?
We don’t want to focus too much on her appearance, but she does have a certain ‘A.I.-generated’ look to her.
Maybe she is a consultant for Skynet.
Yikes. Now we’re not too happy we just made that joke.
The problem with criminals these days is obviously that not enough of them are on TikTok.
Khameini: ‘Sorry, boys. Pack everything up. TikTok girl just informed me that nuclear weapons are bad and we shouldn’t try to pursue developing them. Oh, well. We’ll just keep funding terrorists, I suppose.’
Never mind all of those bad actors (and let’s not forget China there). Try telling the United States, United Kingdom, France, and India that they can’t have nuclear weapons anymore. See how that works out.
And we’re sure that Israel would take Pike VERY seriously. They would be at complete peace in their neck of the world if not for their military force and nuclear arsenal, right?
Excellent ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ reference there. For those not familiar, here is the video:
Perfect.
What an utter bonehead. pic.twitter.com/Tk1I7FhVWQ
— Lizzy Lou Who ❄️ (@_wintergirl93) March 22, 2024
Pike could be smarter if only she had lived through the ’80s. Then again, maybe she just watched ‘Superman IV: The Quest for Peace’ and got inspired.
Former elementary school teacher says, “Only nine countries have nuclear weapons, which means that over 180 countries have chosen not to have them.”
By this logic: “Only a handful of countries have been to the moon, which means hundreds of countries have chosen not to go there” https://t.co/A6aWlNBUMt
— Dinesh D’Souza (@DineshDSouza) March 22, 2024
We’re pretty sure that’s what happened in Yemen. They just looked up at the moon and said, ‘Eh. Not for us. You all can have it.’
Calling yourself a nuke disarmament consultant when you have no standing with the agencies that procure, regulate, or maintain nukes is a pretty sophisticated grift.
— sweller (@swe11er) March 22, 2024
We should probably expect many more nuclear disarmament specialists (who were born well after the Cold War ended) to start popping up on TikTok any day now. It might be the new hotness.
This lady cheerfully explaining the kind of people who are working on making sure nuclear war doesn’t happen has convinced me nuclear war is going to happen https://t.co/lijEpibibR
— Daniel (@growing_daniel) March 22, 2024
Hey, don’t forget. She has the ‘artists’ on her side. Don’t say anything bad about them or they might start singing ‘Imagine’ at us all over again. (Honestly, we might prefer to get nuked to that.)
How can any human be this naive? https://t.co/hvqvQmoK0j
— Dan Gainor (@dangainor) March 22, 2024
Well, we’re pretty sure that it has something to do with narcissism, the personality trait that runs rampant in Gen Z.
We’re sorry, Emma Pike. But nuclear weapons are not going anywhere. You don’t have to like it, but you should accept it. Take it from Gen X, you’ll be a lot happier not obsessing over things that neither you nor anyone else can control.
And hey, it’s not all bad. There are some great movies. Check out The Manhattan Project, WarGames, Spies Like Us, and The Day After. They won’t get rid of nukes either, but they are a lot of fun to watch (OK, maybe not The Day After).
Or, if you’re a music fan, here’s a partial playlist of songs Gen X grew up with about nuclear annihilation, and we all turned out great.
And that’s just a few of them.
What we’re trying to say here is that we kind of lived this sort of thing every day.
And we learned, as the movie says, ‘How to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.’
You should do the same. It’s good advice from your elders.
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