The wedding of a close family member should be a moment to cherish, but for a 27-year-old bridesmaid who left her sister’s big day in tears, instead of feeling the love, she felt “hurt and humiliated”.
While the day began well, the event took a sour turn during the reception and more specifically, the speeches.
“The wedding was beautiful and everything seemed perfect until the reception,” the bridesmaid wrote on the popular ‘AIBU’ Reddit thread.
“During the reception the maid of honor, who has been my sister’s best friend since childhood, gave her speech.
“I didn’t find it funny”
“It was emotional but then she made a joke about how I was the family screw-up who finally managed to do something right by not messing up my bridesmaid duties.
“Everyone laughed, but I didn’t find it funny.”
The bridesmaid wrote that for context, she has had a “rough few years”.
“I struggled with my mental health and dropped out of college for a while. I’ve since gotten my life back on track but it’s still a sensitive topic for me.
“Hearing that joke in front of all our family and friends wasn’t funny at all. My sister’s best friend and I never really got along, but still I never expected something like this from her. Especially since the day wasn’t about me at all, so why bring me up in the speech?”
“I left the wedding early”
The upset bridesmaid says she tried to stay composed but quickly became upset and began to cry so she went outside to “collect herself”.
“My sister followed me out and asked what was wrong. When I told her she said it was just a joke and she (the friend) meant nothing bad. I tried to go back inside but I just couldn’t and I ended up leaving the wedding early.
“My parents understand why I was upset but my sister is angry with me. I do feel terrible for leaving, but I also feel like I had the right to feel hurt and humiliated.”
She later added two edits to the post to confirm that she didn’t say anything at the time so as not to ruin her sister’s day and that she hardly knows her sister’s best friend at all.
In fact, the best friend and MOH has made a point of sharing that people with mental health issues make her feel uncomfortable.
“Get away from your family!”
The original poster hopes her sister will come around eventually and “realise how her best friend’s joke was out of line”.
With over one thousand comments and 12,000 ‘upvotes’ the post went viral with a range of responses. Most agreed that the original poster (OP) and bridesmaid was perfectly within her rights to feel upset.
“Break the cycle, OP,” said one user who could relate to this family dynamic.
“Get away from your family and stop taking their shit. They’ve picked you as their scapegoat, now you have to pick yourself to be your own saviour. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but don’t forget that you have the ability to block people who are shitty to you, even if they’re your relatives.
“Sometimes you have to choose where your energy will go; don’t let your family stay connected to you if they only drain you.”
Another was much more direct, not just about the friend and her speech, but the sister.
“Your sister is a jerk. Her bridesmaid’s words were cruel and tacky – and wholly unnecessary and out of place in that setting. Weird, actually.
“Avoid her at all costs. And if your sister remains mad at you, so be it. Don’t be a doormat for anyone.
“I am very sorry this happened to you.”
Many applauded her for just quietly leaving the wedding without causing a fuss.
“You took the high road and didn’t cause a scene, you should be commended.
“Tell your sister to think about what happened and if she is fine with her friend being a jerk to her sister at her wedding, then that says a lot about the integrity of both the bride and maid of honour. Then walk away.
“Don’t engage because nothing you can say will make any difference and only add fuel to the fire.”
