DEAR ABBY: I am sad that I haven’t found a long-lasting husband. I’m divorced, and my previous relationships and marriage look like intentional hits. I’m not sure what brought this on. I’m in my 40s and I still would like a man in my life. The men I’ve met all seem to enjoy having their homes to themselves. It’s kind of frightening.
Some female friends have told me that the good ones are already taken, so I’m waiting for a divorce to happen. Should I try online dating? Do you think I should reach out to another state for someone? — IMPATIENT IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR IMPATIENT: Stop waiting for a divorce to “happen” — those men have been burned and aren’t likely to be candidates for marriage in the near future. Because an increasing number of matches are made via online dating sites, write a profile and post it on a couple that cater to mature adults, preferably who live relatively close by. If you meet someone, take things slowly and you may have better luck.
DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my parents gave me a beautiful piece of property and the opportunity to build a small house, mortgage-free. The problem is, during those few years, I married and started a family. We have now outgrown the house and are in desperate need of an upgrade.
We’d like to sell the house and use the funds to buy something more accommodating. Adding on is not an option, as our funds are limited, and we could use the proceeds from the sale to buy something we won’t have to fix up.
I don’t know how to break the news to my parents that we want to sell. My father worked hard to provide this opportunity for me, and I don’t know how to say it. Any advice? — IN A DILEMMA IN MICHIGAN
DEAR DILEMMA: Tell your father you are grateful for the effort it took for him to give you the chance to own a home of your own. Then bite the bullet and point out that since the house was built, your family has grown to the point that it is no longer practical, so you would like to sell it and use the money to move to a larger place that can more comfortably accommodate your needs. To do that is not unreasonable or ungrateful.
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible to lose your sense of humor because of a stroke? Before it happened, my dear sister was witty, fun-loving and the life of the party. She has recovered physically, but she no longer has a sense of humor. Everything is deadly serious to her now, and she doesn’t understand when someone is making a joke. I want her to “lighten up,” but I’m afraid this might be a result of her brain injury. Any insight? — LAUGHING BY MYSELF
DEAR LAUGHING: What you have described could absolutely be related to your sister’s stroke. When it happened, certain areas of her brain were “disconnected.” This isn’t her fault, and telling her to “lighten up” will not improve the situation. Thank your higher power that she has recovered physically, keep your comments direct and literal, limit the jokes and you will both be more comfortable.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
