Sketchy scenes from Tony
Famous faces brush with greatness. Or try. Sinatra, Yoko, Bono were all known to schmear canvases.
Now it’s 88 Tony Bennett watercolors — flowers, cities, whatevers — being auctioned off. Also, his suede slippers. What that has to do with his schmearing, not sure but lotsa luck if they’re your size.
It’s Julien’s Auctions. Opening offers: $100. Listen, it’s cheaper than Picasso.
Don’t want a painting? So how about a statuette? Critics Choice Documentary Awards come Nov. 10. Edison Ballroom.
Stars that night are only heard. Not seen. The voices are Steve Martin, Angela Bassett, Martin Scorsese.
Nominees include “Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story” and “Jim Henson Idea Man.”
Do not pick on me. I’m just the messenger.
Left on auto pilot
Elon Musk just doubled his security. World’s richest guy. Makes that Amazon owner’s piggy bank look like a newsstand seller’s daily take.
He’s connecting now with unfruitful aimless dudes. Making them see ways to live fruitful lives. Great.
Terrific. Now if he could only find five minutes to finally marry his longtime forever ceaseless endless hanger-on live-in girlfriend who’s stuck there longer than Antarctica’s 4 million-year-old ice.
Facing the music
A Rod Stewart quote: “My nose ruins pictures. I’m only photographed from one side or it looks like a banana. To change it might ruin my voice, so I don’t. But I love my hair, which now does its own thing. It’s just that it’s the old willpower that’s holding it in and up. I started this hairstyle and I’ll end it.”
Right. And a blessing on your head, mazel tov, mazel tov.
Build ’n’ bear it
Sashe Ivy’s the owner/founder of Chicago’s licensed all-female general contractor construction company Pink Hard Hatz.
“I’m 55. Black. Doing construction 20 years. And I KNOW. I just fired a plumber who thought he’d put two pipes in a client’s basement. Wrong. I’ve learned. Taken classes. Done heavy duty work. I’m a tough boss lady who knows.
“There’s money in construction. Though I’m not a plumber I know code. One lady turned a basement closet into a bathroom. She wanted to add a free fancy shower. I couldn’t do that. So being honest you sometimes turn into a bad person. I’m a respectable contractor.
“But we’re a small company and I need my money so sometimes I give discounts. Listen, the men are not always nice. You get that staring me up and down look. I told one guy: ‘One more look of undressing me and you’re fired.’ ”
She’s a ‘Real’ one
Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin play cousins on a Holocaust tour through Poland in “A Real Pain.” It’s really a Jewish road picture.
Kieran: “Oscar voting site Gate Crashers has a dozen critics saying it’ll get awards.”
Joel Grey’s daughter Jennifer Grey says it’s about relationships and how we all carry our pain differently.
Everyone else says: “It’s out Nov. 1, Friday. Just take your mother or prepare for a guilt trip.”
I honestly have not checked this out myself personally — but I’m told that in the Oval Office there exists a hidden shot of President Biden combing through the sofa cushions looking for lost jelly beans.
Only in Washington, DC, kids, Only in Washington, DC.
