We kid you not. This was reported by CBS News.
Hyper-sexual “zombie cicadas” that are infected with sexually transmitted fungus expected to emerge this year. https://t.co/E4elwKmYzt
— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 5, 2024
They really wrote this. A national news division of a mega corporation wrote this. We’re honestly glad they did because we get to do this.
Saw the “Zombie Cicadas” performing hyper sexual kink in the back room of a NJ swingers club. Didn’t check for fungus for fear of infection
— BrunoNation (@TonyBrunoNation) April 5, 2024
For some, it was a stroll down memory lane.
— Silent Memejority (@memejority) April 5, 2024
For others, it was a sign of the times.
Jesus…
Now we got slutty zombie cicadas?
Can we just get a normal day? Just one? pic.twitter.com/kin5ZfiaMA
— Clandestine (@WarClandestine) April 5, 2024
Sorry, friend, 2024 is gonna be just like every year so far.
“Kasson urges people not to eat the cicadas”
This sentence brought to you by the eat-the-bugs people at CBS News. pic.twitter.com/6Ss7sfe1RD
— Nuclear Herbs (@NuclearHerbs) April 5, 2024
Right? Make up your mind, is eating bugs going to save us or not?
Why is there not a media hack specific brain eating STD? Granted its not much of a meal, but…
— Roy L. Fuchs 🇺🇸 (@cg_vet) April 6, 2024
Inquiring minds want to know!
Y’all get bought by the National Enquirer?
— Non Serviam (@ThomasServiam) April 5, 2024
Whoa, speak of the devil!
Thank you Joe Biden.
— Tracy 🇺🇸 (@TracyJHoban) April 5, 2024
LOL! Look, we know Joe is a screw up of epic proportions but, even we don’t think you can pin this on him.
Recommended
So basically, the dating scene is just as bad everywhere.
— Ryan Chapline (@ryanchapline) April 5, 2024
Is it the [current year] after alll.
Sure sounds like one of the 7 Seals pic.twitter.com/cP4KTKDLMn
— WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot (@aleykhat_tx) April 5, 2024
For you Biblically inclined.
The word “expected” is an unusual choice here. https://t.co/uadmopZjp5
— Carl Benjamin (@Sargon_of_Akkad) April 5, 2024
Let’s consult Biden Administration expert, Admiral Rachel Levine. Yep, expected.
I saw Hyper-Sexual Zombie Cicadas open up for Jane’s Addiction at Bonaroo a few years ago. https://t.co/9mmbWT5HXw
— 𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷 𝓡𝓪𝔂 42 (@2CynicAl65) April 5, 2024
No thread would be complete without a band reference.
So, in summary:
Yep. That’s 2024 alright. https://t.co/efDoD7gqhW pic.twitter.com/XQi8nA53Vs
— Grateful Calvin (@shoveitjack) April 5, 2024
Not much else we can add.
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