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Still swiping? Seniors brave dating sites in search of romance

When Joan Vassos was a contestant on “The Golden Bachelor,” she said something that resonated with millions of fans.

“As you get older you become more invisible. People don’t see you anymore,” the composed 61-year-old told the camera. “You’re not as significant as when you’re young.”

Bachelor Nation was listening, yes — even the ones with poor hearing. They felt seen, and for some of them — ready to jump (or should we say, stroll) back into the dating game.

Ultimately, Vassos left the show due to a family emergency, but she returned to star in the first-ever season of “The Golden Bachelorette.” The finale premiered on Nov. 13 and can be streamed on Hulu.

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Believe it or not, Vassos and the former “Golden Bachelor,” Gerry Turner, have brought fresh, new life back to the Bachelor Franchise. The “Golden Bachelor” premiere was the most-watched episode in the series since 2021. But, the brand-new, seniors-only series isn’t just improving ratings for ABC.

Vassos and Turner have also boosted some seniors’ views on dating again and perhaps, more specifically — meeting people in less-than-traditional ways, like on dating apps. Of course, online dating is nothing new to the over-60 group, but it’s not often part of the conversation.

Seniors have been taking hints from the millennials, and Zoomers, downloading dating sites like Match, Zoosk, OKCupid, and OurTime, and even apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

“I love shows like the Golden Bachelor because it’s geared toward an audience that’s often overlooked in pop culture. This is a group of people who never had to look for a partner in today’s climate, and often, they don’t know where to start,” explained Maren Levine, a psychotherapist and Master Social Worker based in New York City.

Levine is a huge proponent of dating apps and has recommended them to some of her clients. She says that she has been met with some resistance at first. But, once they start putting themselves back in the pool, she sees them begin to regain confidence.

“As a 65-year-old you aren’t going to walk into a restaurant, sit at a bar, and find a date. Apps are really the best now,” explained Levine. “It used to be — if you were over the age of 35, forget about finding love online. Now there are tons of people over the age of 40 looking for relationships after divorce or loss.”

There are a few challenges. Some of her clients don’t understand the technology and are prone to oversharing on their profiles. But, with some patience and a little “reigning in,” the outcomes have been very successful. She points to one of her clients who is in a happy, loving relationship with someone she met online.

Levine suspects that older people may be better candidates for online dating because they’re more secure in life, and not looking to fill a void, but rather find life partners, or even good friends, who can bring positive value to their already fulfilled lives.


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Judy is one of them. She’s in her early sixties, a mother-of-three, divorced after a 30-year marriage. She dared to download a dating app, and despite a few road bumps along the way, she is now in a happy relationship.

After her divorce, Judy moved to the Oregon coast and spent a few years learning to be single again. She was nervous about starting over, but after receiving some encouragement from friends, she downloaded Hinge. She had a simple goal: to connect with like-minded people who were active and interested in getting outdoors.

“The men that were reaching out to me all were from Texas, which I found very odd. I came to find out later that my location was incorrectly added and stated that I lived in Central Texas!” she exclaimed. “My girlfriends and I had quite a laugh about that one!”

After her location mix-up, Judy decided to give something else a try. She created a profile on Match, an online dating service intended for those seeking long-term relationships — also the most popular site for seniors. Judy matched with a few different men and eventually, found someone with whom she “really enjoyed spending time.”

They ended up wanting different things, but it didn’t discourage her. Now, she is in a loving relationship with a man that she met through a friend, “the old-fashioned way,” as she calls it. Her experiences with online dating weren’t all a walk in the park, but she’s glad that she opened herself back up to the idea of finding love again.

She appreciates that shows like “The Golden Bachelorette” allow people like her to watch seniors find love after the loss of a partner, “Most people enjoy having a companion with whom we can share life… Love knows no age, it is timeless.”

Bryan is 69 years old, retired, and has been married twice with four children. He has a few gripes with online dating, however, he jokes that he may not be alive today if he hadn’t downloaded Zoosk.

During the pandemic, Bryan found himself contemplating whether there were any eligible, available women in his age group. He saw an advertisement for Zoosk pop up on his Facebook. The dating app uses personality quizzes and other assessments to match individuals based on compatibility. He thought he would give it a try, so he signed up.

It wasn’t as simple as he thought. “On the first day, my account again was hijacked,” he explained. Unfortunately, reports of online dating scams are not uncommon — especially for online daters over 50. “But, they (Zoosk customer service) were helpful and offered me three months free so I stayed on.”

While on Zoosk, Bryan met some wonderful women. In fact, he said, “There are so many out there you could meet one day if you want to.” He only ended up meeting two, and while the relationships did not end up working out in the long run, he said he is still close friends with both of them.

“When I started with Zoosk I was scrolling profiles, and I accidentally hit the meet button so I painfully met up with this lady. I met a wonderful artist who invited me to come to her house. While there, I had a heart attack and she saved my life. How’s that for success on a dating site!”

He explained that if he had to start dating again, he’d head to a site that was made just for seniors, something like OurTime or EHarmony, which are both advertised to singles over 50.

Rose is turning 70 this year and considers herself a pro at dating apps. She’s a published author, and aspires to find an intellectual, world traveler, though she also has a few other more specific requirements.

“I would like someone tall and lean, with a hairless body but lots of hair on the head, clean-shaven, sharp features, and full lips,” she listed off. “Brains are also a turn-on.” If her criteria seem specific, it’s because she knows exactly what she is looking for.

Yet, she’s mentioned that she hardly feels any pressure with online dating and treats it more like a lighthearted opportunity to connect with someone and have an interesting conversation. She has used everything from JDate to OkCupid and Match and is open to trying other dating sites, too.

“I couldn’t care less. If I can have an hour’s worth of a nice conversation, that’s a goal. I don’t care if they’re not interested in me. I don’t take it personally. It has no emotional impact on me,” she shrugged. “I’m not chasing it. He’s gotta be wanting it.”

When asked about the impact of shows like “The Golden Bachelorette,” Rose said that she thinks it’s very exciting that popular culture is now spotlighting singles from her age group. “The baby boomers were a huge generation. I’m someone who never married, and a lot are divorced or widowed. There are plenty of us out there, we just need to find each other.”

For Rose, the beauty of online dating is that it allows you to connect with people you otherwise would have never met. She isn’t sure exactly what she is looking for, but she is happy to enjoy the time along the way while she tries to figure it out.

“Let’s just say, it’s less about sex. I had one date and the guy immediately let me know that he can’t do anything. He had two cancers… and surgery. He just wanted a cuddle buddy, a companion,” she trailed off. “You want the climax? Just joking. I haven’t gotten to it yet. Still trying to figure that out.”

Do online dating apps work for seniors work?

All jokes aside, online dating sites and apps have become a top choice for silver singles, and people like Judy, Bryan, and Rose have proven that they’re not out of reach.

They’re still not swiping quite as much as the twenty-somethings. Dating app use is much more common among younger adults than older people. About half of those under 30 report having ever used a dating site or app, compared to 13% of those 65 and older, per Pew Research Center findings.

Yet, older adults are also more optimistic about dating apps. When compared to their older peers, the same study revealed that “adults under 30 are less convinced that online dating has made the search for a partner easier.” Perhaps, this has to do with the fact that seniors might feel less pressure, or are more self-assured, and know what they’re looking for in their golden years.

Levine is hopeful that shows like the “Golden Bachelor” and “Golden Bachelorette” will continue inspiring seniors to put themselves back out there. She also predicts that dating apps will continue to make their platforms more accessible, and user-friendly for older folks.

“They are getting better and better in terms of marketing and understanding the older market,” she concluded. “They still have a ways to go, but I believe it is getting better and better for older people.”


Names have been changed to protect members’ privacy. 


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