Dear Diary,
Today is the first day of my one-woman protest/encampment here on Google’s grounds. That’s right, Diary, I’m on the front lines, talking the talk instead of just walking the walk. Or would that be tweeting the tweet?
I’m like a brave, one-woman army fighting the good fight to demand Google stop censoring and silencing me, Twitchy, and our readers. Sure, outside here in Mountain View, CA, it’s a little different from my cushy office in Virginia but I am determined to stick it out and make them pay attention.
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR.
Don’t worry, Diary, I’ve brought supplies (MacBook, coffee, chocolate, Barry Manilow collection downloaded to my phone, Louis Vuitton bag, corgi, fan, bug spray, SPF 1,000,000, and Cheez-Its) and even set up a nice little tent. Oh, about the tent, Diary, it must be very popular as it has been ordered by hundreds if not thousands of young college students from all across the country. The same colors, the same size … gosh, almost as if their protests were planned, organized, and paid for by the same group of mouth-breathing Democrats.
Ahem.
Anywho, Diary, earlier as I was setting up camp I had to battle a seagull (I think it was a seagull, or it was a super dirty, big, and belligerent pigeon with a serious attitude problem), fight off a squirrel with a scar down one side of his face, and then I had to move my tent to another area here on Google’s grounds after a homeless guy thought I was his pet cat, Belinda. He seemed very upset that I didn’t want to let him scratch me under my chin.
*Mental note, I really should get some bear spray at some point*
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So now, Diary, I am finally situated and roughing it, fighting for free speech out in the elements here at Mountain View, CA, on the Google grounds. While I am making a stand against Google, I hope our readers see this as inspiration to sign up for our Twitchy VIP Membership program. Just think, Diary, for a mere .13 cents a day, our amazing, lovely, brilliant readers could bring me home from this cold (ok, not cold but not warm either), empty tent and back to my office in Virginia because then it wouldn’t matter so much if Google wanted to silence us. And since I’m sitting here in my tent waiting for my air mattress to fill up, I can offer them 50% off using my special code, BRINGFOOHOME. That’s pretty good savings, Diary, especially if they go with the Gold Membership that would give them access to all Townhall Media sites.
In the meantime though, Diary, I will be here in my tent, sleeping on my comfy air mattress, shaking my fist at those Big Tech goons at Google serving the pandering, lying, sack of stupid in the White House. I know I can do it, Diary.
We must do it, Diary.
FREE SPEECH NOW!
Love,
Sam
